Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
