at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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