things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
