Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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