u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
