Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Say something about gay babies.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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