4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sorry about my life...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
