whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
