take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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