I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
