Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
