I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
