dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
