I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize