A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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