The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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