My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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