I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My bed smells like the plague
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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