I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
