please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
