The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
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I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
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17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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