Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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