Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it glows. i had to have it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
