I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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