We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I understand Curling. That high.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
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I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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