Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
