dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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