then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
