I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I supernannyed him into submission
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
