yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
