She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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