Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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