even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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