Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
