Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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