i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
