Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
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I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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