At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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