I cockslap morals
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
