is your mom at the bar?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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