textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize