That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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