the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
