If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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