I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
