I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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