Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
