So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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