I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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