i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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