I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
