What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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