its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
