If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
