Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
