you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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