You made me cry and you don't even care
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
