He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
